Past & Future
Dear childhood,
It’s been a few years that we have not met and I want to apologize now that I hated you so much back then and I wanted to leave you asap.
But now I want you back. Because I miss you. I miss the time when you used to swing in the ground and not in life.
I miss the deep sleep you used to take which I thought was a punishment.
I miss your real smile & a laugh & naughtiness & carefree mind &...everything.
I am sorry for making you cry so hard for the problems that were not even a problem.
I am sorry for not living you to the fullest. I am sorry for loving my future while being with you.
I know this is not possible, but I wish I could get you back again.
Forever in the hope of having you again,
Your grownup version.
Since childhood,
I have been an influenced child, who get easily influenced by what people think about me, and what they will say.
I have always been a target among my friends for having such a small height, skinny body, etc etc and trust me I have cried for hours hearing all this.
I still hear all this from people “are you in the 6-7 standard”
“She doesn’t have a good dressing sense”
“She doesn’t look so beautiful”
“You are so skinny, don’t your mother give you food.” Etc etc
I have always been compared with my cousins, who look as beautiful as a dream.
All these things have broken me a lot at times, in fact, just my looks became a fear in me, a fear which was stopping me to go in public & turned me into an introvert.
But now I realized, all this physical beauty is just a myth. Obviously these days beauty matters, otherwise no guy will love you. But instead, I will love to have someone who loves me for who I am, not how I look like. I realized, thinking about all this is just stopping me to do so good in life.
Also, the one thing that matters is, “how I feel about myself.” And, that is enough for a good life I guess. And I think am comfortable with how I am.
I know few things can become a barrier for me in future as well, but one thing is sure that, the meaning of “beautiful” is not what you see in a person, it is what you feel from a person.
I turned my fear of not looking good into my confidence, and I don’t know about anything else, but such small things really teach you a big life lesson.
I wish you don’t bother about how your partner looks like, but how your partner’s energy makes you feel like. Love yourself & see a different vibe coming towards you. Smile because no matter what you are going through, the person who will receive it, will feel positive and good & it costs nothing to make someone else happy. Forget about someone else, smile and stay happy because ur parents love to see you like this.
Lastly, I used to get influenced about the opinions of people towards my height and health but now, it’s just a kid joke for me. And I hope it no longer hurts you too.
Dear future,
I don’t really know how do you look like? I don’t know how you will come to me? I don’t know how much we will love each other? But I want you to be like the one I dream of...
It will be okay if you won’t come with so much of money to me, but I want you to come with lots of love, happiness, care, fun, respect & my family.
I want you to know that I am really very worried about you right now, so please will you be a little kind and happy to me.
I want you to come with lots of failures and much more success, so that I can celebrate it being happier. So that I know the worth of my success so that I never make my success more powerful over my mind. So, I can look back and feel proud of facing such time. So that I learn, how cruel life can be at times, but at last it brings you the life you deserve.
Obviously, I want you to come with so much of happiness and smile, but please make me cry at times, so that I know the worth of my every smile so that I can know how it feels to make someone else smile.
No wonder what you do with me, but I want you to never trouble my family. I want you to be so good that they feel proud of not just me, but also the way you came to me. Please make sure that everyone around me is happy because of you.
I want u to have connections with my past, it may sound you strange but yes because this is where I have grown up from a child.
Because this is where I learned my life. Because good times have been a powerful supporter to me and they have created memories for lifelong. And my bad times has created you somewhere. My bad times have taught me who are the people to trust on, they have made me stronger today.
So when you come to me, I want to look back at my past with you and laugh at the memories and smile on the struggle, pain, and sacrifices.
I want you to never forget your roots where you came from. I don’t want you to make me forget the same.
Trust me together we will make it, but for that, promise me no matter whether u come with success, money or not but you will make sure people always love me the way they do now, I always have the same relations I have right now.
Thanks, please come bright to me.
With love,
Present time
- Pranavi Darsi
It’s been a few years that we have not met and I want to apologize now that I hated you so much back then and I wanted to leave you asap.
But now I want you back. Because I miss you. I miss the time when you used to swing in the ground and not in life.
I miss the deep sleep you used to take which I thought was a punishment.
I miss your real smile & a laugh & naughtiness & carefree mind &...everything.
I am sorry for making you cry so hard for the problems that were not even a problem.
I am sorry for not living you to the fullest. I am sorry for loving my future while being with you.
I know this is not possible, but I wish I could get you back again.
Forever in the hope of having you again,
Your grownup version.
Since childhood,
I have been an influenced child, who get easily influenced by what people think about me, and what they will say.
I have always been a target among my friends for having such a small height, skinny body, etc etc and trust me I have cried for hours hearing all this.
I still hear all this from people “are you in the 6-7 standard”
“She doesn’t have a good dressing sense”
“She doesn’t look so beautiful”
“You are so skinny, don’t your mother give you food.” Etc etc
I have always been compared with my cousins, who look as beautiful as a dream.
All these things have broken me a lot at times, in fact, just my looks became a fear in me, a fear which was stopping me to go in public & turned me into an introvert.
But now I realized, all this physical beauty is just a myth. Obviously these days beauty matters, otherwise no guy will love you. But instead, I will love to have someone who loves me for who I am, not how I look like. I realized, thinking about all this is just stopping me to do so good in life.
Also, the one thing that matters is, “how I feel about myself.” And, that is enough for a good life I guess. And I think am comfortable with how I am.
I know few things can become a barrier for me in future as well, but one thing is sure that, the meaning of “beautiful” is not what you see in a person, it is what you feel from a person.
I turned my fear of not looking good into my confidence, and I don’t know about anything else, but such small things really teach you a big life lesson.
I wish you don’t bother about how your partner looks like, but how your partner’s energy makes you feel like. Love yourself & see a different vibe coming towards you. Smile because no matter what you are going through, the person who will receive it, will feel positive and good & it costs nothing to make someone else happy. Forget about someone else, smile and stay happy because ur parents love to see you like this.
Lastly, I used to get influenced about the opinions of people towards my height and health but now, it’s just a kid joke for me. And I hope it no longer hurts you too.
Dear future,
I don’t really know how do you look like? I don’t know how you will come to me? I don’t know how much we will love each other? But I want you to be like the one I dream of...
It will be okay if you won’t come with so much of money to me, but I want you to come with lots of love, happiness, care, fun, respect & my family.
I want you to know that I am really very worried about you right now, so please will you be a little kind and happy to me.
I want you to come with lots of failures and much more success, so that I can celebrate it being happier. So that I know the worth of my success so that I never make my success more powerful over my mind. So, I can look back and feel proud of facing such time. So that I learn, how cruel life can be at times, but at last it brings you the life you deserve.
Obviously, I want you to come with so much of happiness and smile, but please make me cry at times, so that I know the worth of my every smile so that I can know how it feels to make someone else smile.
No wonder what you do with me, but I want you to never trouble my family. I want you to be so good that they feel proud of not just me, but also the way you came to me. Please make sure that everyone around me is happy because of you.
I want u to have connections with my past, it may sound you strange but yes because this is where I have grown up from a child.
Because this is where I learned my life. Because good times have been a powerful supporter to me and they have created memories for lifelong. And my bad times has created you somewhere. My bad times have taught me who are the people to trust on, they have made me stronger today.
So when you come to me, I want to look back at my past with you and laugh at the memories and smile on the struggle, pain, and sacrifices.
I want you to never forget your roots where you came from. I don’t want you to make me forget the same.
Trust me together we will make it, but for that, promise me no matter whether u come with success, money or not but you will make sure people always love me the way they do now, I always have the same relations I have right now.
Thanks, please come bright to me.
With love,
Present time
- Pranavi Darsi
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